Advice on your Best Friend’s Suicide Attempt

Recently I had 3 poems published in the audio zine Stanza Cannon Issue # 6

Friends of the Forest
My ADHD is Not Cute
Advice on your Best Friend’s Suicide Attempt

You should listen to all of them by clicking on the link

Advice on Your Best Friend’s Suicide Attempt

1. As much as it seems scary right now,
   don't cry.
   Don’t show an ounce of anything other than warmth.
   This moment isn't about you,
   and if you cry it will only make things worse.
   They are feeling weak,
   and your tears only prove what they already think about themselves.

2. Know your rights but also theirs.
   Are they able to afford a doctor,
   a lawyer,
   a therapist,
   meds?
   Do they have a support group at home or is it just you?
   Know who knows. Know why.
   Ask why? Why now? Why today? Why so close to a Friday? Why here?
   Know as much as you can.

3.  Let them know that they are okay.
   That they will be okay,
   that being okay, is okay.
   None of us are perfect
   and okay and alive can be synonyms sometimes.
   Life is hard, living is hard, and sometimes okay is all you can be.

4.  Know that as much as it hurts,
   you're not a therapist.
   You're not a doctor.
   You don't have the training
   and even if you did it would be illegal for you to be their doctor.
   So, no, you can't solve this.
   Know that as much as you want to take on every part of their pain and burden, you physically can't do it.
   Don't try; it is not worth the hardship.
   I'm sorry, but it is true.
   You are just one person and you cannot save the world.
   even if the world is just your best friend.

5. Know the process.
   Know that if you call 9-11 your friend will end up in a hospital,
   stuck on watch, no access to the world.
   Know that they will stand in a line, waiting for meds.
   They will be pulled from school or work.
   The police will break in and take them from their homes
   if they need to.
   Know that the police will always decide they need to.
   Know that your decision did this.
   Feel that fear.
   Know that they will be angry.
   They will be mad.
   They will hate you, possibly forever.
   You're the reason their mom cried in an E.R lobby at two in the morning,
   that they're dad doesn't look them in the eye anymore.

6. Finally, remember that they're alive.
   That for every moment of doubt,
   every angry call, glaring hatred, and pain in your chest 
   seeing the person you love distance further and further from you,
   they are alive.
   They are on this earth another day and that is worth more than anything.
   It doesn't matter if they never talk to you again, because they're still here
   and dead friends can't come to your wedding,
   tell you they love you,
   help you move, or be your first child's god-parent.
   Dead friends don't get to smile or laugh at corny jokes,
   and a living person no matter how far removed,
   is better than missing your dead best friend.

Trust me, I know.